Tharg Escapes

“He-hello?” A thin, high-pitched voice called out. A woman’s voice, Tharg thought, though he could not be sure. He furrowed his mighty brow and peered into the gloom.
“Who’s there?” he bellowed.
“I-I was a Maiden of the Snake. I’ve been in here for over a month. Have you come to free me?”
“How do you know how long you’ve been here?” Tharg asked. Quite reasonably, he thought.
“They...I used to watch them feed the serpent. It got a live pig every week. There have been five pigs, so far.”
Six, thought Tharg, as he got closer to the source of this pathetic voice. No wonder they fed her to the snake.
“My name is Tharg.” he said.
“My name is...”
“Your name is of no interest. You know the location of this mountain fortress?”
“Yes, I...”
“Do you know how to get from here to Castle Tharg?”
“I don’t know any Castle Tharg. Do you mean the Camaargh?”
“We’re inside the belly of a giant snake, wench!” Tharg yelled. “This is neither the time nor the place for Python jokes!”
With a flick of his mighty hair, Tharg took up his sword and poked it into the impetuous young woman a few times, just to teach her a lesson. Once she was quite dead, he turned his attention back to vengeance. It’ll be North, he thought, poking one mighty eye through his improvised window to get a sighting of the pole star. It’s always bloody North. Stooping, he cut a couple of holes in the underbelly of the serpent for his meaty, mighty feet, stuck them through, and plodded off, wearing the half-dead serpent like a one-man Chinese dragon.

You can find the complete version of Tharg Escapes in issue 49 of TBD.

Stuart Crawford