Director: Kurt Wimmer
Cast: Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund

Reviewer: Andrew Robertson

Whatever you do, don’t pay to see Ultraviolet.

The World Cup has seen several films shuffled into cinemas on the basis that those attending will either be desperate to escape the football or too witless to realise there will be two hours of brightly coloured and slightly incomprehensible violence on the television for free.

Ultraviolet is aimed at that last group.

I only have 250 words to describe how bad this film is, so I will be brief. Other reviewers have focused on a quote from the film &8211; “a vampire and a dying child &8211; what a pathetic picture”. Kurt Wimmer is responsible for the excellent Equilibrium but it now seems that it was good despite, rather than because of his involvement. The title sequence pretends Ultraviolet had its genesis in comics, perhaps to lend it credibility &8211; this fails. Milla Jovovich is never convincing, and lines like “I am a monolith” are wince inducing. The special effects would disgrace the Gameboy, and while a director of photography is credited, all his work is obliterated beneath layers of Photoshop-style filters without any sense of continuity. The fights are less credible than those in The Matrix. I’ll be fair and say that there’s some nice architecture. That is the only part of the film with a sense of proportion or structure.

If you can see Ultraviolet for free, don’t do so alone. You’ll be talking about how bad it is for weeks and you should have someone to discuss it with.