Diabolist’s Catch

A voice, distorted and rendered atonal by the vast amounts of magnetic static, thunders from the console speaker. “Tremble mortal, for you gaze upon Zazazu the Mighty.”

“Fuck me!” I am impressed in spite of myself by the sheer volume and quickly turn down the gain on the amplifier.

I let the demon rant for a few seconds before hitting the red button on my console. Zazazu the Mighty receives a ten thousand volt shock and emits a sudden, frantic burbling noise. The ranting stops and a very quite grumbling begins.

Demons will always rant at first and, at least in my experience, the McPherson shock method first suggested by a particularly sadistic Scottish dental student serves to ensure almost instant compliance. The method possesses three primary virtues: it informs the demon of the realities of its situation; it wastes very little time; and it has a perfectly acceptable three and a half percent mortality rate.

While the demon is still distracted by its sudden shock I take a chance to glance at the console display. The screen informs me that there are seven minutes twenty seconds of power left at this high drain and also that the computer has identified the subject as a Bazezar, also known as the game playing, or gambling demon. I quickly skim the details and compare them to my specimen.

Zazazu the Mighty appears to be fairly typical of its breed. It is about four and a half inches high with the head of a fox set atop a humanoid torso which terminates in a wispy tail similar to that of a djinni and is coloured a uniform orange red. Currently, it is displaying its fury by testing the integrity of the ’Bottle’s magnetic field with its little fists, each punch accompanied by flashes of white light and electrical static.

I give it another, much weaker shock, to get its attention and speak into the console mike.

You can find the complete version of Diabolist’s Catch in issue 53 of TBD.

Charles Snell